What is a vow renewal ceremony?
A vow renewal ceremony is done for two reasons. (A) reaffirming the commitment you made or (B) You need to “Reset” your marriage. So let’s talk about the first one… Most couples will hit a milestone in their marriage and decide they’d like to celebrate with friends and family. Think of it as a party to let the world know – “I’d do it all over again”.
Now the second reason, well that is pretty much an opportunity to reignite the passion and remind each other as to the reason WHY you’re together in marriage.
This could happen for a variety of reasons (infidelity or perhaps you both have fallen out of touch) and it’s a great way to jump-start the marriage. Either way, most couples are happy that they did it and it helped to get them “back on track”.
What should you expect in a vow renewal ceremony?
These ceremonies are GREAT! It can either be put on by the married couple OR by family. Either way, its a chance to brag about how long you both have been in love, and you’re looking forward to many more years together.
Vow renewal ceremonies can be small and private to big and well attended. Most people don’t have crowds as large as the original wedding. Typically, 10-50 is appropriate for a vow renewal ceremony but if you have more peeps that you wanna invite – have at it!
Think of it as a 2nd wedding with the same types of details and needs. From someone(s) walking you down the aisle, giving and receiving rings, and exchanging vows. Heck, you can even have a wedding reception (read the next section).
The reception
When I have done vow renewal ceremonies most of them have had a reception. Actually, this was the highlight of the evening, in contrast to the “first” wedding.
An opportunity to mingle with family/friends and recount stories you and your loved ones have shared. A beautiful night of drinking, dancing, and laughing with all the special people who have been with you during your marriage.
On the contrary, my other clients didn’t see a reason to have a reception. Instead, they planned a large dinner with their guests and everyone met at a local fancy restaurant.
Now that I remember, I had two couples who renewed their vows by themselves (no guests) in a location that had a special meaning to them. This was a very intimate experience and both took place on a secluded beach.
Why do you want to renew your vows?
This question is a good indicator as to what brought you to this point. Why do you want to renew your vows? What does this mean to you both? The reason may be one of the two mentioned earlier or a completely different reason.
For the record, there is NO exact year when renewing your vows. This is completely up to you… And vow renewal is not usually practiced by a majority of married couples. In my experience, it’s becoming rare to renew marriage vows. Perhaps it’s due to financial reasons or people just don’t like the idea.
This is a shame since it’s such a great way to strengthen and celebrate the love you have for one another.
Not everyone wants a ceremony theme
A majority of ceremonies I’ve conducted or attended didn’t have a theme. It was more of a large receptions style event with toasting, dancing, and good times. Some shy away from creating themes due to the work it takes to make it successful.
Sometimes simplicity is best! It all depends on the type of person you are and the type of celebration you want…
Once again, there is no “right” way to have a vow renewal ceremony. If you decide to do a vow renewal ceremony some folks want to make it fun. I’ve seen ceremonies where the couple will make the theme a certain color or favorite movie character.
Maybe an “all-white” theme where everyone who attends just that – wear all white. OR you’re a Trekkie and want your guests to dress up in their favorite Star Trek character.
Where should you start?
Aww, the beginning of all parties – planning! It’s best practice to have a clear plan and execute it…
This may start with assembling a ceremony committee (family members or friends) that will help support the common goals. Having others to address needs will be very helpful. Especially, if the event has a lot of details you will need to delegate.
Once you have a few people to help you out, start to sketch out what details you feel will be involved. Below, I have put together a shortlist to get you started – feel free to expand on this list as you see fit.
- Location – base this on a few things (number of guests, neutral location to guests attending, location has amenities you may need (ie. bar option) or a site that has meaning to couple).
- Theme or no theme – think about what is best for the couple (some couples wouldn’t like a theme)
- Guestlist – who should be there to celebrate this event of love.
- Invitations – get feedback from the couple (unless its a surprise) and the committee on the look and feel of invitations
- Will this be a surprise celebration – if so, make sure guests don’t speak to the couple about it and good luck on keeping this a secret – may want to include them in this.
- Vow Renewal Ceremony – who will be conducting this ceremony? Will this be a 3rd party officiant or a family or friend?
- Full-blown ceremony or reception – do you want basically another wedding-ish ceremony or just a casual party atmosphere?
- Who will need to participate in this ceremony – make sure there are not too many speeches or having the couple do anything they may not be comfortable with.
- Any other vendors needed – should a photographer be hired or DJ (gotta have a bartender for sure)
- If at a private location – who will help set up and tear down
Either way, however, you decide to celebrate this joyous occasion is completely up to you. Just make sure, it will be an event the couple will cherish FOREVER… Cheers!
